Always ride on the right side of life!

I've been fairly lucky with my old lady encounters so far in Germany. I must have a friendly face (or an easily persuadable one), as they always seem to come to me for help, wherever I am. I have, so far, helped an old woman get a loaf of bread down from the top shelf followed by a heartfelt discussion about the best bread to buy these days, showed another which U Bahn to get, had a little chat in German with a 70 year old about learning languages whilst swimming in a lake (multitasking at its best...my water tredding has never been so good!), helped another find the washing powder she was looking for...the list goes on. Do you think I've earned my place in heaven yet?

An American friend of mine hasn't been so fortunate. All of the mardy, old bags seems to find her. At first I thought she was just a little paranoid (sorry Liz!) but, all it took was a bus ride with her to see the torment she must often endure from 80 year old Germans. We were standing on the bus, nowhere near the old lady sitting down at the front. She suddenly started to rant various insults in German about English speakers and then proceeded to say directly to Liz: "You should know that I am getting off at the next stop and you are in my way". She didn't get off at the next stop. Or the next one. Or the one after that. So she wasn't just an old bag...she was a lying one too. Obviously our English conversation offended her narrow mind. Still, all credit goes to Liz - who retorted confidently in German, much to the woman's surprise. So it seems that whereas I have invisible sign on my back saying "Old lady S.O.S service", Liz has one saying "Take all your old lady baggage out on this American" sign. Hopefully they will never do this literally with their over-sized handbags filled with cans of dog food. The world can be cruel sometimes. *sigh*

I found out this weekend though that I am not completely immune from old lady wrath. In Munich we ride our bikes almost everywhere, it's fantastic. The cycle lanes are wide (enough for two bikes to ride side by side...this is an important point) and are connected to the pavements rather than the roads, so nice and safe. Technically you are meant to ride on the right-hand side. 99% of the time I am a rule abiding wannabe German, and I do ride on the right. My new apartment, however, requires me to cross two crossings in order to go over to the right hand side of the road for the final 20 seconds of my journey. Do I ride on the right for this 20 sec stint? Sometimes. If I'm feeling German. I was, however, in a English rebellious frame of mind and decided to ride on the left. Quelle horreur! Like a bat out of hell (a very old bat, mind you), an older woman came speeding towards me on her bike. Being the polite soul I am, I decided to pull over, and let her pass, rather than carrying on cycling by her (there was plenty of space to do this).

I give her a smile.

She screams: "Geisterfahrer!!!!!!!!!!!! (Ghost driver)

Lovely.

I think next time I will just shout: "BOO!" back at her and give her a little Geist fright - let's see how well she manages to yell at people from her high-saddled throne-like bike then.