Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Socks and Sandals? Seriously?

Sometimes when I am sitting in the U-Bahn on the way to work I feel guilty. *Cue reader getting excited that I am about to dish out some deep secret*. Actually, rather than some deep, dark, twisted past - I feel guilty because  sometimes by just looking at people who are badly dressed  I feel like I, myself, am committing a fashion crime.

I'm not shallow, my life doesn't revolve around fashion and I definitely don't judge a book by it's cover. Having said all that, the German's dress sense is just BEGGING for judgement. Ok, scratch that, not EVERY German. I really need to discount 99% of the female population in Munich who are overwhelmingly beautiful and could give LA socialites a real run for their money.

That remaining 1% though...well...they are committing fashion crimes that you can only think about in your worst nightmares.

Socks and sandals aren't considered a mistake here, in fact, *deep breath*, it's almost like it's a trend this summer amidst the Munich population. Men, women and children are all wearing socks and sandals in various forms. Apart from being a fashion mishap, it really doesn't make any sense. Sandals were invented to let your feet breathe and look beautiful when it's 34 degrees outside. They are an excuse to get a pedicure and flaunt your new coral shade of polish. So why, why oh why, wear socks with them? If your feet are very sensitive and get chilly in 34 degrees, why not just stick to shoes? Ballerinas? Pumps? Anything but socks and sandals - please - I don't think I can see another pair without saying something. The worst is when you see a poor child wearing them, they have no control over their parents' fashion faux pas'.

The best is yet to come though. Tights (or rather, Strumpfhosen, in German) with shorts. In 34 degrees. Not even nude either, full-on black. Are these people insane? I would be sweating like a Mongoose...if, in fact, a Mongoose sweats in prolific amounts when forced to wear tights. Why do this? Are they cold? Ashamed of their white and pasty legs? If it's the latter - embrace the pale! My eyes would be far less offended by a nice pair of pasty legs rather than a thick pair of 40 denier.

Add onto this the leggings trend. Don't get me wrong, I love a good pair of leggings, jeggings and all of the other forms. I would not, however, wear a pair without a lovely long top to cover my bum. The amount of women wearing cheap, semi-see-through leggings without a long top to cover their striking VPL is astounding. Don't they have any shame? Then again, the Germans have no problem prancing around naked in swimming pools and spas, so perhaps this gives them a new found confidence to wear leggings in this way, a confidence which I am yet to find...and hopefully never will.